AUGUST
-8-18-08-
-Sorry for the lack of updates lately, I'm trying to revamp the site a little along with back to school and filming and editing, I'm busy to say the least. Speaking of filming most of the gang is in Utah this week and if it ends up like this Utah trip from earlier in the year than we're screwed. Good news, I actually just talked to Whitney and things are going much better already. I spoke to Noel the other day and he was complaining about the Seattle streets and that he needs a bigger wheel. So I have a care package I'm gonna send out to him and if anyone wants to add to it get it in the shop before friday. If you haven't read the Bo Turner interview in the the new Skateboarder your missing out, he's very bitter....I love it. Thanks for the support...from the core, for the core.-
-If this doesn't get you hyped to skate than nothing will.-
-The Democratic National Convention starts in a week.-
-I guess everyone in Denver is depressed....except me of course.-
-8-11-08-
-Its Monday morning and I'm sitting in here with Murphy trying to come up with an update. Now I know how Noel would feel when I'd walk in on him and he would be staring at the computer screen. Here's some big news, Ben Gardner is out of the clink and he has a neck tat to prove it. Oh yeah, and a big thank you goes out to Mr. Colin Fiske for the footy and the other goodies.
-This is Murphy and Micah looking over his contract for Bangarang clothing.-
-Harbours on the come up.......New 1031 video due out October 31st.-
-My office is starting to look like a high end art gallery.-
-8-7-08-
-August is upon us....look forward to hot days, back to school, the Democratic Convention and the last Skate Camp of the year. If you haven't got a chance to participate in any of our SkateCamps this year there is one left on August 24th with a few spots left for enrollment. Don't miss this opportunity to rub shoulders with Colorado's most dysfunctional skateboard team. New product is arriving daily for your back to school needs as well as plenty of items on sell from the summer. Either way we have you covered. Now go skate before it rains today....From the core, for the core.-
-Quote of the Day, "She's hot but she's pregnant." Justin Greer talking about his probation officer.-
-Can't pronounce his name......Gou Miyagi.-
-Jason found this fine piece of art for my office....Whitney customized it.-
JULY
-7-30-08-
-Noel Boyt has left the building........I guess all good things come to an end at some point. We will miss you Noel and if you live in Seattle look out for him, he is a wild one. In more team news, Joe-Bear is in California doing the California thing.....surviving earthquakes and what not....Tonkas feet have been getting worse. Williams been dealing with the California State Patrol trying to get his car back. Monicos been nicer than normal, Harbours been punker than ever, and to top it all off Whitney's phone has been turned off.-
-100 tapes @ 60 minutes a tape = 6000 thousand hours. Almost done......maybe.....kindof....sortof.-
-Came to the shop this morning and found this awesome art on the door.......if anyone can email me what this says it will get you a Denver Shop shirt.-
-7-24-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-I'm moving to Seattle next Thursday so this might be one of the last updates I ever do. It has been really fun spreading industry rumors and talking all types of shit on everything imaginable. I can only hope when I leave everyone around here continues with the tradition of harsh criticism, scare tactics, and overall humor. So on that note, street wear is dead.-
-My "go skateboarding day" was no skateboarding day, but Tony being the guy that he is felt bad that I was stuck in the shop all day and tried to make it up to me. Isn't it interesting how alcohol makes materialistic tendencies disappear? I threw my phone in the toilet and lit my clothes on fire that night. "If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."-
-The Skatebook is either the Pogs, Jncos, or Giga Pets of the early 2000's. You tell me. Either way the public is excited and so are we. I mean jesus, we have an SPB Don holding that shit, that means it must be kind of ok right? (Jeremy Fish please e-mail me if I'm in the wrong here)-
-This is old footage of myself harassing the public for Hollarado.-
-7-17-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-Fuck, writers block Thursdays. Here's some stuff to look at, sorry.-
-This is a throw back clip of me throwing lightning bolts at the artist formerly known as Tonka.-
-Note to people: Don't come to Denver.-
-This man is available for bachelor parties and barmitzvas.-
-7-15-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-I hate hospitals. Yesterday I went to the Children's hospital in Aurora and that place just reeks of death. There were a lot of people there who looked like they were suffering and almost begging for death to come. I hate hospitals. Silas Baxter Neal quit 'es for Adidas and DC is trading Devine Calloway for Ryan Sheckler. Apparently Etnies is trying to get away from their pop appeal and incorporate a more "core" aesthetic for their brand and team. DC on the other hand is embracing their douche bag look and I for one think Sheckler will fit right in. When are real skateboarding shoe brands going to come back and take over the market again and rinse the industry of these big box demons? When will skateboarding once again be reduced to a guy making boards in his basement or garage? Hopefully sooner than we think. From the core, for the core.-
-I was in Kansas last week and I was fortunate enough to see (along with all the other homies) Ryan Pearce once again before I move. Pearce is hands down one of the most underrated skateboarders of our time and I hope that his skateboarding lights a fire under the chodes of pros worldwide...not to mention he's a good drunk.-
-J-Greer officially ran away from home this morning and is going to be on a couch surfing diet for a while, so if you don't care about your place, don't have loved ones, or own things of value, invite J-Greer into your home.-
-7-13-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-Well we finally got back from Kansas and let me tell you, it was a bloody good time. Murphy pretty much broke his knee cap in half, Joe bear ate about 4 burritos a day, and for myself, well, I got an ear infection. A special thanks goes out to the Lovell family (mainly Ryan), the one and only Joseph Lopez, the fierce Ryan Pearce, Doug E Fresh, and the rest of the Kansas City bunch. While on the trip a lot happened, Murphy threw a full water bottle at a girl's face, Joey got choked out by Josh "the great white" White, and I got to ride shotgun with both Pearce and J-Lo. Besides that, skateboarding was pretty fun, it was quite humid and one of the days it rained, but it didn't seem to stop us, for it was taco tuesdays! Every tuesday in Kansas everyone goes and gets cheap tacos and then goes bowling, it was fucking fun! I forgot how entertaining bowling can be especially if you and your friends are terrible at it. Notable bowlers would include Tyshaun "baby back bitch" Johnson, Sean Malto's infected belly button, and international ladies man Rod Harper. On our drive back we ran out of gas in our bloody SUV and had to funnel in some gas from our generator...it sucked/ruled. I can't wait to do it again, see you soon Kansas City!-
-Accidents sometimes are the funnest part of skateboarding. For instance, "ooooh, I tried switch big spin but I accidentally stomped switch big heel"...ACCIDENT! Here is a accidental Monico ollie bonk for your pleasure.-
-The early 90's gave the world so many things, fuck, I mean Pogs, cereal that should be desert, the list goes on. The one thing that Murphy learned from the early 90's was to incorporate crails whenever possible, on a first date, in your car driving to school, or on a front blunt.-
-7-9-08-
-Can you tell Noels out of town with the lack of updates? That's right Noel, Joey and Murphy are in Kansas and according to Murphy this morning they had a hard night. Noel severed his index finger and refuses to get stiches...he says he likes the way it looks, street cred if you will. Joey keeps waking up in the middle of the night screaming "We're not in kansas anymore toto." And Murphy is sticking to his no bowel movements until he gets a trick.....from the core, for the core.-
-Here is a weak attempt at an update.....Sorry folks.....G-Knight watched this in the shop, and well the photo speaks for itself.-
-The SkateBooks are here...There is two covers, both being John Cardiel. The deal is if you spend over $50.00 bucks in the shop you get one free! Limited quantities available so don't sleep.-
-Whitney has pride.-
-7-2-08-
-Wow it's July already and the summer heat is keeping us from skating during the day so we have become skate bats......I've been getting alot of emails asking when the new video will drop.......sooner than later is all I can reveal at this time...... I would like to thank all the team for making Sunday another successful Skate Camp.....Harbour is back from his 1031 demo tour with a tattoo to prove it....Murph has been sweating due to Starbucks announcement that they will be closing 600 stores....not to worry Murph I'm sure you'll be able to transfer to one of the other million stores.... Joey's in here complaining about his heel being hurt.....Whitneys complaining about his board and Walsh is just complaining.....from the core, for the core.-
-Hey Harbour, I found this site for you......Thought it might help.-
-If you missed SkateCamp on Sunday you missed the flying fandangle by Murph....shirtless at that.-
-I'm sure you've heard about Levi and his unfortunate accident....The Denver Shop family would like to wish him a speedy recovery.-
JUNE
-6-26-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-The first skate camp is officially full and we have a confirmed guest, Justin Shardy will be there in the flesh teaching kids switch airwalks. Joey, Murphy, and myself will be going to Kansas pretty soon and I'm hoping at least 2 of us will land primo on a flip trick. Happy birthday to Brandon "nobody loves the Brando" Greer and Tyler "soiled tater tot" Price, who both now have restraining orders because of women and myspace. Lorenz is a full blown/full time working engineer now and finds no time to roll up the windows on noseblunts to fakie. Go skateboarding day should be called "Put Balls In Your Mouth Day", but we can't win them all so Luke substitutes balls for cotton candy. This is a photograph of the morning after the Sammy Hagar concert...rough night! We hope to see you all on the streets soon, from the core, for the core.-
-6-24-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-From what I heard the Independent demo was pretty fun, Rowley threw some back 3's down some shit, Omar Salzar yelled out loud and ollied some shit, Rick Howard sat around, so overall it was rad. I worked all day long by myself and no one came in to say hello, it sucked. For me it was "no skateboarding day". That "holiday" is such bullshit, it's just as weak or weaker than 420. God, who invented 420? Who invented go skateboarding day? They both need their knee caps broken and their balls mauled by blind bear cubs. After I made all those comments about Arcade skateboards last update, Tyrone Olsen messaged me on myspace: a place for friends and physically threatened me with violence. I immediately watched the Storm and laughed myself to sleep, what could he do, launch ramp into my face? On that same tip, how is Austin Stephens pro? I know he used to get gnar gnar back in the day when ON Video reigned supreme, but now jesus, I mean come on! He quit Emerica because they wouldn't give him a pro shoe. I was surprised he was even on the actual team, I mean fuck, you have under dogs on that shit like Suski and Vaughn Baker who nobody acknowledges. If Austin Stephens reads this, please some how contact me with a argument on why you deserve to have a pro shoe or board. Until then google your friend's names for a good time.-
-When I was at a rave on Thursday night I was given a GNAR BAR and I tried it out yesterday...the rest is a blur.-
-A play on words is definitely needed. Tony Hawked...indeed.-
-We would like to officially welcome Joseph Abarca to the Denver Shop family, blood in, blood out.-
-6-19-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-Our apologies to anyone who was confused about the Indy demo times, it is still set for 12-3 and yes, it will still be awesome. We can't wait to see everyone there! Maybe next year on corporate America's go skateboarding day we can have a Grind King demo, that would be fabulous. Fucking Malcom Watson, Supa, Brezinski, and the skateboarder formerly known as S.A.D.!!! Does anyone remember that guy? He would skate with a towel in one hand and had a bleached Ghangis Khan moustache, can you beat that? Not to mention all of his Arcade skateboard ads revolved around "pimp" like scenarios; the outfits, the women, the cars...a bloody travesty. Talk about back to the future! Arcade had that weak ass ad campaign where if you broke a Arcade board on a trick that you filmed that was on a equal obstacle that matched one of their riders ads, you could get a free board. Who the fuck would do that? You're like fuck, this doesn't mean shit. all it means is I'm as good as one of your riders. The late 90's sure were a terrible time for humans. How did Shorty's have so many kids under their influence? Jesus, and how did they lose their influence so abruptly?-
-If you want to party in Utah, do anything but call these guys because they're nothing but bad news.-
-Years of Vans park preparation has left Murphy unfazed by flat bars.-
-Tyler has a broken femur, a legitimate resume, and the heart of a stallion in heat...very hawt.-
-6-17-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-So if you look to your left you will see the Independent demo flyer, click on it to enlarge it and witness the list of pros and ams alike. I really hope Sheckler shows up because we at the shop have a bet going on. Whoever snaps Sheckler's board gets street cred, bragging rights, and unlimited stickers for a month from the shop. You know what would be even radder, if one of the Independent riders themselves snapped his board, that would be amazing. Be sure to bring lots of sun screen and to come on a empty stomach because there will be plenty of food there to satisfy your youthful metabolisms. All the fellas got back from Utah the other day and lets just put it this way, they came away with one broken nose, three black eyes, one lipslide kickflip, and seven trespassing tickets...rad! Street skateboarding has never been more alive! I went skateboarding last night and from 8 to 11 p.m. there were black hawk helicopters darting abruptly in and out of the buildings in downtown. I was thinking some wild shit as I was watching all of this kind of go down. They were getting relatively low to the ground and close to the buildings, at one point I saw two of the helicopters land on a building some thirty or so stories up. They scaled it vertically and gently landed right on top like it was nothing, so odd. All I can say is strange ways here we come. Fuck. For all you people who actually keep tabs on our team, to set the record straight, Morrissey still rides for us along with Paul Walsh. Even though Walsh doesn't really "ride", he just talks shit and complains, he does it (whatever it happens to be) for the Denver Shop. On that note, try not to get D.U.I.'s until next time youth of the world, just ask Paul Walsh.-
-For those of you who don't know, Alex Brown is now our team manager. His duties include but are not restricted to; sending out tapes of footage to monster corporate skateboard companies, making hotel and other traveling arrangements, pre picking flow-hoes to enter the hotel rooms, and having to deal with one of the most dysfunctional and mentally unstable group of individuals this state has ever shit out. We love you Alex Brown, bravo!-
-If my memory serves me correctly, "Furries" is an American phenomenon where people dress up in large animal costumes, go to parties or conventions, and engage in intercourse with each other. This is as close as any of these guys will get to intercourse...in Utah at least.-
-If you didn't know what "Wogging" looked like until now, here you go folks. In my opinion this is a disgusting display of the human body doing two completely separate things at once. Similar to the Blumpkin and the 69 taint lick.-
-6-12-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-So I went to the supposed first showing of the Toebock premiere last night and I found myself in a terribly distraught state. After sitting there waiting for the 8:30 show to begin, and after watching two videos in hopes of killing time, I over heard someone say that the video wasn't even there yet. I graciously had my fill of being surrounded by all-over-prints, drunken people who don't skate, and power tripping security staff, so I went home. Fortunately this morning my source told me that the film was a all around hoot and entertaining to say the least. I would like to congratulate everyone involved especially our very own Tyler Price; a polite and modest gentleman, bravo Tyler! Well deserved, well deserved! In other recent news, Greg Harbour is currently traveling the entire East coast with 1031 to help inform the general skateboarding population that street grabs are going nowhere. We got the first run of the Deathwish product and boy oh boy do those guys have a deathwish! We're talking some real freaky naughty sizes on those decks, deaf, dumb, and blind kid illustrations as graphics, and not to mention a used condom in the box along with the invoice. I ponder who was calling on Dr. Bonezone in that situation? There's pretty good odds that it was either Slash the human rash or pooppoo caca Sammy Baca. But my heart secretly wishes it belonged to Furby, what a cute nickname! Just to keep that rumor mill turning, you thought the raping of the industry was done or had gone far enough, you thought wrong my friend! First Plan B coming back and bumming us all out by spoiling something sacred, but now once hyphy company 101 will reemerge under the likes of Dwindle distribution. Fuck! Leave it be! Natas killed, Gino ruled, but shit, you're all hurting my feelings now, fuck! Koston, speak up where ever you are you urban cowboy you. Dill, shit, paint a picture protesting this man, fuck! Until next time if skateboarding still exists, haaaaaaa!-
-What do Murphy, Monico, Whitney, Joey, and J-Greer have in common besides herpes simplex 2? The answer is their all in Utah filming with that guy who a few years back was banished from San Diego for being a openly celebrated foot fetish man. The tale of the take is that a unnamed kid woke up to Mr. foot fetish licking his feet while staying at his house...yes, my thoughts exactly. Hopefully none of our guys get their shit licked, man, watch out Joe bear, meat balls go splat, they don't roll.-
-6-06-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-Earlier on Monday we had to kidnap Joey so he could come and skate some street. Surprisingly when he leaves Trails park he can be quite productive. Monico has been making quite a living lately giving long boarding lessons to new coming immigrants. Murphy has quit skateboarding to pursue male modeling, in this case he was at a basketball photo shoot. We're having a streak of bad luck with bidding on teeth. Everyone else is just way more willing to pay massive amounts of money for other people's parts. The only body part I would pay anything for is Morrissey's skull when he dies. First Nike, then Adidas, it's just natural that Converse follows. Check out these new hawt joints and blog your asses off!-
-6-03-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-Skate Camp 2008 is almost upon us and I can already smell the tears, sun screen, and pizza. Please come out and join us for fun and adventure throughout the summer! Jamie Craig is in the shop right now showing us the latest in skateboarding fashion and products the world over. With him is fellow Aurora legend Grant Hammel, a man known for his subtle humor and ability to flip out of slides. Tony's been enjoying the weather a lot lately, so much in fact that he's making money doing what he loves...on a whole other level. We're also bidding on some more teeth on E-Bay because some things are just beyond our control. We're going to win this one. I currently have a show on display in New York with some of my work, please check it out and cry yourself to sleep. I saw Tim O'connor last night at Denver park and I asked him how it felt to ride for Burton Snowboards...he did not find it amusing. He also fell skating the tranny and I told him that if he still rode for NJ skateshop he wouldn't have fallen. By the way, Mariano is off, he's back on the meth rock...oh, too soon for addiction jokes. I'm hosting a break dancing competition on Saturday in front of the store if anyone wants to come. The entry is free and first place wins a autographed pair of Spitfire socks from Bobby Worrest. Hyphy! I'll see you all soon!-
MAY
- 5-30-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-Last night when I was playing Super Nintendo with Brian Anderson, he admitted to me that sometimes he wishes he could go back in time and skate for Toy Machine. Out of all the people who rock the chinos these days, whether because it's cool or comfortable, who is your favorite? Alien Jerkshop pro Anthony Van Engelen, Girl gone wild pro Mike Carroll, money hungry Alex Olsen, band wagon Andrew Allen, or the true East coast tall boy Bobby Worrest? And jeesh, a few years ago the hot shit was horizontally striped shirts and sweaters and now it's the flannel, what's next? I'm hoping Jnco's and Pogs make a comeback, maybe we can do a collaboration with them...please. Anything hip or cool on the horizon please people, inform me, inform us, we want to be awesome! Hopefully I'll see you all at the anime convention this weekend, goodbye!-
-This is what happens when you type in Greg Knight, Josh Murphy, and Joey Abarca on Google. Sad but true you sick lads.-
-My cousin from Alaska sent me this link, I was very impressed!-
-Tony and myself bidded on some human teeth this morning on E-Bay and hopefully we win, cross your fingers for us.-
-5-27-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-Ahhhh, a week since I last updated this salty dog and people have been going el polo loco! I got a e-mail from Julien Stranger like 3 nights ago simply in a rage. He was terribly upset due to the lack of updates on my behalf. He also stated that if I don't update more frequently he's going to send a pipe bomb to my house...bummer wave. Colorado native Matt Carr, also known as Putrid just, just released a deck with Creature that we were blessed enough to get in the shop. The proof's in the pudding, take a look to your right...congratulations Matt! In team news Grant Hammel has retired from skateboarding to become a youth karate instructor at the 365th street YMCA. Shad Spencer and his wife have moved to Skateopia, Ohio...the center of the universe. Joshua Murphy and Joseph Abarca both safely graduated high school last weekend while both mothers and the Pope wept. In other graduation news, Monico made it out of the Fort Collins college lifestyle alive last weekend. He successfully graduated with top honors and while reaching for his diploma sneezed on the dean. In shop news, Tony Mellick kickflipped in socks the other day to revenge a bet that was set forth over 13 years ago by one Eric Koston. Street cred and bragging rights breaks eternal!-
-I hadn't seen Ryan Lorenz for a while and this is because he is working a corporate job, eating strictly organic food, working out, and getting married soon! Congratulations Ryan, and godspeed!-
-I can't really say much about this one besides the fact that it's a fucking gem. Gino has one of my favorite styles and personas in skateboarding, bravo Gino, bravo Poets!-
-5-20-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-It's like 80 degrees outside right now and the weather is just begging you to practice your trickery and maneuvers. I'm terrible in the sun, luckily I'm inside making the sales of a prince and the updates of a king. One thing that never ceases to surprise the fuck out of me is the act of landing primo. At the ripe age of _ _ I still find myself suffering from this blasted travesty. Skateboarders of the world, please be careful or else you'll end up like me, with nubs for feet. I visited local celebrity and skateboarder extrodinare Justin Shady in his hometown of Colorado Springs last night. Yeah, pretty much the greatest skateboarder of all time, he was doing nollie switch airwalks on flat with a cigarette in his mouth...practically un comprehensible! Roy Rogers is off the team and Shirley Temple is too if anyone cares. I'm a Shirley Temple man myself, but Rogers has his moments. Justin Greer is moving back to Colorado just like I predicted, he'll be at the demo. Josh Murphy got arrested again, but this time it was for selling black market Tail Devils to kids 5 and over at the skatepark. Tyler Price finally confirmed rumors about his ultimate drop challenge last week. Supposedly he'll drop out of a plane with no parachute and try to successfully land on his skateboard, and by successful he means breaking anything but his femurs. Good luck T.P.! Dent the whip!-
-I would consider this fine art.-
-French Canadian Greg has some stuff in the new 1031 trailer, peep da phatness!-
-Monico has been meeting the greatest people you can imagine at spots lately...and showing them what's up!-
-5-15-08-
(NOEL BOYT)
-So I saw the Deathwish promo over on Google video last week, but we just got it in on DVD and let me tell you, the quality sure does make the difference. Now I can tell the difference between nollie heels and nollie flips. It is also clearer that ex-junkies and functioning alcoholics can some how get shit done. I talked to Arty the Greek the other night for like 2 hours and he was telling me some funny shit. He also dropped the quote of the week that I can completely sympathize with, "Too bad the Boulala and Shane Cross thing didn't happen to P-Rod and Jereme Rogers." Yeah, pretty much the best shit ever, spitting diamonds. In other news Murphy and myself will be going to Kansas in about a month to huck our carcasses down the biggest 2 or 3 stairs they have to offer. On a sad note Whitney's Mom called me the other night, he's in the hospital until the end of the month because he got his wang stuck in the zipper the other night, and drunkenly decided to take care of it himself. Bad idea and no dice my friend, he ripped his shit and now, 14 staples and 23 internal stitches later Whitney is straight chillin'. Oh, and congratulations to Brian Johnston, you're on the team pal.-
-In between arm wrestling camps, finger boarding competitions, and underwear modeling shoots, Tyler finds time to ride the horizontal fun zone..to regular.-
-Lately customers have been complaining about how skateboard decks don't last as long as they use to.....don't worry, the shop is looking out for you my friend.-
-The worst thing about skateboarding is that you have to be awake to do it. I want to skateboard in my sleep too, shit's fucking lame. Here Greg and Monico exercise being completely awake and run into a no no zone.-
-Josh Murphy is getting his wisdom teeth pulled out tonight at midnight at some weird surgical rave type thing. Greg Knight has a little pick up truck and today when he came to the shop the bed in the back was duct taped up and full of water and hundreds of gold fishes. "I got a great deal on em" is what he said to me. Monico has vowed to never wear a shirt again unless he has a wife beater on under it...odd todd indeed. Nathan broke his shin messing around at the park trying early grabs to flat in the tranny section. He told me via text "it's chill though". Whitney has been using a catheter lately just for the hell of it when he sleeps. He's been so lazy he just doesn't get up, he just pisses the bed...kind of. It rained this morning and made for a wild ride in on my bike. The law had to pull me over because I was so fast. Take advantage of the weekend before you have to go back to your hellish routine. I love you all.-
-Justin came back from Utah for 2 days and gave us some footage. There were a few diamonds in that giant turd, but boy let me tell you, those diamonds sure were rough...catch my drift?!?!?!?!?-
-The other day we were out skating and this gentleman invited us all into his restaurant to celebrate the birth of his daughter with him. He gave us delicious mango juice, life advice, and weird looks out of the corner of his eye. He was hard to read, but the book was pleasant in the end.-
-I picked up Etch-A-Sketch art again and I've been practicing more lately. Peep the Hall and Oates tribute.-
-Yet again another skateboarder owned company was bought out by someone who doesn't belong. It's sad to say, but my source texted me that Crimson is no longer owned by Kris Markovich. Apparently he'll be starting up a new company called "Given". Maybe with his new company he'll hire someone else to do the graphics man, that sure would help my eyes out. Some of the kindergarten cop finger paint graphics he puts out are straight gnarbuckle. Now that the weather is getting better the shop is attracting more weirdos than a ICP festival. In the past week I had a drunken middle aged man try to fight me, a crackhead ask me if we sold hammers, and just an hour ago, had a mom accidentally spit on me while telling me about her first encounter with a skateboard. But you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way. In team news, Josh Murphy has a urinary tract/sinus infection. Whitney Wells has 2 rolled ankles. Mike Carroll is now attending anger management classes weekly. Geoff Rowley is no longer pouring hot wax on his chest in the forests. Monico is working on a hair gel sponsor. Tyler Price was diagnosed with elephantitus of the shin yesterday. And for myself, I am now officially tucking my hair back in my hats and or beanies for the next month...I have a bet going with Justin Shardy to see who can hide their hair the best, it's pretty top secret. Oh, and I'd like to welcome our good friend Alex Brown to the team. He's actually going to become our new team manager/accountant/travel agent. I can't wait to see what the future holds.-
-This was the last footage Murph got before he was sent to the hospital. Apparently he dipped his pen in some bad ink if you know what I mean!!!-
-What do Monico, Tyler, and the rest of the middle American Frat houses have in common? Kegstands my friends.-
-Straight out of the car, T.P. is on a mission, and that mission is called A.B.D. Thank god he has a few N.B.D.'s up his ass too though, and boy, those N.B.D.'s reek of shit.-
-Just as soon as he gets on Converse he's off and on Circa Combat with Lizard and all the other functioning alcoholics. Bong rips with Gewer are soon to follow.-
-When you here the names Murphy, Lorenz, and Walsh you think one thing, and one thing only, mass suckage. Here they all at once prove your thoughts wrong by performing a gang bang of massive proportions on a number of ledges.-
-Greg with yet another form of the infamous dog piss. What's up with the fakie and or nollie dog pisses!??!?!?!!? Chew on that Haslam!-
-For all those people who missed out on the Thrasher X Colorado t-shirt, well they sent us a few more so maybe you'll get lucky if we have your size. In other Colorado news, our very own Nate Fantasia has been asked to try out for next season's American Idol! For years we have known, but now soon enough the world will too. Nate has a great voice and is really talented so we couldn't be happier for him. Good luck Nate and we can't wait to see your cover of "Panic" by The Smiths. In team news, we just once again picked up a notorious heavy hitter in the industry, one Mic-E Reyes of Sick Boys and Deluxe fame. Denver Shop management (Tony and myself) couldn't be happier and can't wait to see what unfolds after we let him loose on our website as head moderator. Personally I just want to see him break someone's legs with a baseball bat. Back to the rumor mill...I can now release information about Alex Olsen and Converse, it's a no go. My source indicated that Olsen jr. and sr. both went to Converse asking for $100,000...obviously they were turned down, I mean jesus, he's no Randy Colvin!!! So that leaves Pappalardo and yes, Raymond Molinar of 2007 flat bar fame. My source also indicated that Molinar quit because "es' didn't make environmentally friendly beanies or socks", what a shame. I'll be in the shop all weekend so please come and visit me when your on your way to or from your colonic. Goodbye you handsome devils!-
-Whitney did this line with a full watermelon in his stomach and an ankle monitor on his wrist, do the math on that one folks.-
-Last weekend I had my art show at Speakeasy on Broadway and it sure was fun! Thanks again to everyone that came and supported me, it meant a lot.-
-Here's our golden boy, fancy foot Fantasia wrestling with the crookie monster himself, Senor Guadalupe Francisco DeVille.-
-Ayyyy carumba, this block is on fire lately, the block is hot! Every Saturday there are these fellas out on the corner with peace signs and flags and I've always wanted to talk to them. What better way than to approach them wearing flannel and a negotiator face mask? My thoughts exactly! After our meaning I told them that Michael Jackson was behind nine eleven and that when I cry my tears are made up of fire. Obviously they were disgusted. In team news, Josh Murphy went to the dentist a week ago and found out that he had a cyst growing under his last wisdom tooth, he was pretty pumped. Apparently they only pulled 3 of the teeth the first time and left that one because of Murph's jaw structure or some shit. Soooooooo pretty much we all hope Josh is going to be ok. He's one of my best friends and I don't know what I would do without his negative demeanor around me. Justin Greer is still in Utah where he is claiming to be "hooking up with mad hoes" and "stacking footy". My apologies to those who have to read this jive but this is the real deal and our people are seriously saying these things, once again I'm sorry. Shad is still breeding hamsters and pit bulls, Tony is still cruising Interstate 420, and Paul Walsh is still on house arrest. I would like to take this opportunity to welcome Brian Seber to the team. His tranny ability and backside flip melon grabs have landed him a spot on our sticker flow program, welcome to hell Brian. Goodnight you pretty things.-
-Greg Knight is officially the new kindergarten cop Matt Beach, congratulations. Actually congratulations to both parties, especially Matt Beach for the Tampa Pro fiasco, shit was hyphy!-
-Chad Lewis came into the shop today with some interesting news about him winning a drunken arm wrestling contest in Tampa last month. The other news was that his grand prize was a all expenses paid trip to Russia. Naturally Chad knowing that he had some Commie bastards in his midst gave the tickets to Mike Carroll and myself. Goodbye U.S.A. and hello mother Russia! In about 3 weeks Carroll and I will be knee deep in vodka, snow, and teenage sweat. I'm claiming Carroll will break 13 boards on the trip in the 7 days we are there. I will only break 3 boards, but I will also break 9 hearts. I'm also going to try and find that cabin where Rocky trained all legit style in Rocky 4 when he fucking beat the shit out of Ivan Draggo. That's my favorite Rocky evahhhhhhhh! Oh, by the way, if you are the kid who left his back pack in the shop the other day, yeah, we threw it away. I looked inside the bag and he had 2 I.C.P. cd's in there, 1 half used condom, 3 glow sticks, and a studded belt. It had to be done and I did it, sorry bro bra! Oh, and he also had a pukka shell/hemp necklace in there, but I kept that for myself because I'm way into that scene maaaaan (note I am not actually into that kind of stuff). It's easier to spit in a cop's face drunk than it is to pay your taxes sober. Goodnight my darlings.-
-If you have seen Shad lately then you would know that he is quickly moving up the body building ladder. Believe it or not he actually has a six pack on his back, it's terribly bizarre, ask to see it. Spinal six packs help with manual balance though.-
-Greg called me the other night from Alberta, Canada on a 1031 trip and he fucking cut off his left pinkie finger in a sheet metal shop up there! I guess they were staying with a guy who lived in his warehouse and they were messing around with some shit and one thing led to another, now the 9 fingered man. Does that take away from your melon grab cred? less finger action?!?!?! Be careful people, please.-
-This is a photograph of a full blooded Scottish man with a chest pelt holding a homeless child he found wandering the streets. The homeless child coincidently has a mean three flip.-
-Yeah, I went to the Nike SB meeting this morning with Tony and I sure was surprised. It was at that old spot that has since been fucked over, Lucent rail, I was so pumped. I had been kicked out of that spot so many times back in the day and now I was walking in the building, using the elevator, using their bathroom, it was rad. They took the O.G. rails out and put in some crazy kinked and knobbed obstacles of death, I was blown away. Any way, back to the meeting. The new SB stuff looks really nice, a lot of nice colored shit and some really nice apparel. Rob our rep had a Supreme bag that I was eye raping the whole time too, it was a lovely sight. One day I'll find a rip off one on E-Bay and buy it and feel complete. For my film critics and enthusiasts world wide, it would be my "Rosebud". Whitney has been hard at lurk deleting porn off the web for a corporate juggernaut. Greg Knight has been skating ledges. Murph has two left hands and uses them to his advantage. Shad is breeding dogs and feeding them steroids and toxic slime to create giant furry dog beasts. William is working with the Guinness book of world records trying to set the world record for the most cartwheels successfully pulled in a row...his goal is 4,036. Tony is practicing air guitar and getting pretty good at it. The rest of the team is doing something boring that is not worth mentioning. Oh, and I just shaved my head, I bic'd that shit. Goodbye you charming lads.-
-Today at the shop a lot went down, but the best shit that happened was the guy getting hit on his bike by a van...and the van was hit by a separate truck. Jesus christ, it's like 3 degrees of "you got fucked up!"-
-Justin just "moved" to Utah or so he claims. He'll call his Mom in a week begging her to send him a ticket home. But until then suck on this bag of fuck; J Greer, 2 tricks he's been doing for half his life, and intercourse with under aged myspace queens.-
-Whitney is claiming that he's moving out of his Mom's house, but until then, here's Whitney not deleting porn.-
-This is Josh Murphy's ode to me...or so I'm told, and this makes me a damper camper my friends.-
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